Afghanistan's whiniest fatbitch

I love it when stuff comes in my email, like these pictures did. I don't know who this is, but some troops in Afghanistan sent these out. They say this dirtbag is a reporter, and they already were getting sick and tired of having to drag his fat ass around with them and then the other day when they were doing a memorial service for one of their fallen comrades this guy was waddling around all over the place taking pictures and annoying the hell out of them even more.






Anyhow, I don't know who this guy is and they didn't say, but if you ever see him around you'll know what you're up against. (Okay, actually I'm hoping my friend Mike Yon reads this, and finds this guy over there, and teaches him a thing or two about proper respect for the troops.)

My Scrumpdillyicious War

Greetings from Afghanistan
now a scrumpdillyicious war
Where our troops are doing all they can
in a scrumpdillyicious war
Yes, our men and women are brave and more
in this scrumpdillyicious war
but the folks back home seem to ignore
this scrumpdillyicious war

We went on patrol the other day
in this scrumpdillyicious war
To chase the Taliban away
in this scrumpdillyicious war
Our gear the best that money could buy
in this scrumpdillyicious war
No fear had we, that we might die
in this scrumpdillyicious war

We wandered in to a family's compound
in this scrumpdillyicious war
And barricaded ourselves down
in this scrumpdillyicious war
The Taliban came out to fight
in this scrumpdillyicious war
And fired on us all day and night
in this scrumpdillyicious war

Not being fools we called in air
in this scrumpdillyicious war
The jet flew by and launched a flare
in this scrumpdillyicious war
and the noise he made (we're sure) did scare
in this scrumpdillyicious war
The Taliban (who don't fight fair)
in this scrumpdillyicious war

But they kept on lobbing in their rounds
in this scrumpdillyicious war
That eventually burned the compound down
in this scrumpdillyicious war
But we fooled them - we had left that ground!
in this scrumpdillyicious war
For another compound in that town
in this scrumpdillyicious war

(Then back we went to our own camp
in this scrumpdillyicious war
To mend our ripped and shredded pants
in this scrumpdillyicious war)

Another day and out we went
in this scrumpdillyicious war
enthusiasm still unspent
in this scrumpdillyicious war
An empty town was an eerie find
in this scrumpdillyicious war
Of course, the whole damn thing was mined
in this scrumpdillyicious war

A soldier there was blown apart
in this scrumpdillyicious war
But none of the others ever lost heart
in this scrumpdillyicious war
We've plenty of troops - "we're" standing tough
in this scrumpdillyicious war
Though medevac? - We can't get enough
in this scrumpdillyicious war

So here I am, and here I'll stay
in this scrumpdillyicious war
And as long as they'll let me, I will say
"it's a scrumpdillyicious war"
And "we're making progress, yes we are"
in this scrumpdillyicious war
(Just don't forget to hit my tip jar)
in this scrumpdillyicious war