It's time to grab my grandpa's blunderbuss

Just look at this crazy headline from the New York Times: Canada Puts Spotlight on War of 1812, With U.S. as Villain. That is onimous! People didn't listen when I was the first person who said Iraq is a civil war and they probably won't listen now when I become the first one to say  Canada is going to launch another War of 1812 on us either. But they will.

That is why I am planning on coming back to the United States to patrol the US - Canada border and keep an eye out for MENARD. Mark my words: he is coming to shoot our helicopters and bridges. When you hear about the bridges being blown up at the Canada border that will be MENARD starting the War of 1812 II. It will happen because CJ Grisham is in charge of spying on Canada but he never leaves Texas and if you take some of the letters out of Afghanistan and put some different ones in and rearrange them that spells CJ Grisham and I hates him I
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